My Life In Simple Words

2006-05-07T19:26:00.000+03:00

Sometimes my head goes numb!

sometimes my head goes numb!
For staring too long at the phone
Hoping you would call
Or even still just text
But all I get is silence;
Yes Silence.

sometimes my head goes numb!
when I refresh my inbox a 1000 times
Hoping to find mail from you
But all I get is an empty inbox;
"O unread mails".

sometimes my head goes numb!
When I pass by your place
hoping to catch a glimpse of you
Hoping you might atleast say something
But all I see are closed curtains;
windows tightly shut.

sometimes my head goes numb!
when instead of listening to you
I stare deep into your dark eyes
Hoping you would see my longing
But all I see is my own reflection;
reflected back.

But the more I try to move on,
the more I try to let go
The more I realize
that my head has grown numb;
Completely numb!
cause am in Love with you!

2006-04-21T18:43:00.000+03:00

My thoughts wander
To the depths of my head
Fears creep into reality
The unknown is what I find

Searching for answers
In a maze called life
Distracted and deterred
It pierces like a knife

How do you venture
Into the nightmares of truth
The inevitable waits patiently
With the ignorance of youth

Amidst a sea of chaos
Take a moment to pause
Take time to reflect
And focus on cause

2006-04-07T17:38:00.000+03:00

I did not cry,
Not because I feel no loss,
But maybe my tears
had turned into blood
that bleeds inside my heart.

2006-04-07T17:25:00.000+03:00

Mine to you..

I would battle all of nature's wraths,
Journey across perilous paths,
Of a thousand miles and days.

If only to see,
Standing before me,
A warm smile on your face.

Jade Windchime

2006-03-19T18:45:00.000+03:00

MUSIC FROM WITHIN..

Guitar chords reverberate
Striking uniquely within
Strumming my thoughts
Becoming my friend
The confessions resound
The lies I have told
Lost in the Music
The pain that I hold
My passion can echoe
Plays it so well
Captures my air
What each note can tell

2006-02-25T19:46:00.000+03:00

You....

You came in running for the bus
Dripping wet and soaked with rain,
Somewhere inside I felt a pain –
You stole my heart away.

Every morning you’d be there
Pausing just to pay your fare,
I wanted you to see me there –
You stole my mind away.

Nighttime would come; I’d lie awake
Rehearsing all the moves I’d make,
But you’d walk by and I would shake –
You stole my dreams away.

You scared me once; you weren’t on time
You didn’t come ‘til half past nine,
It made me sick, but you were fine –
You stole my fear away.

I wanted you just once to smile
Shake my hand and stay a while,
But you only came to save a mile –
You stole my laugh away.

Then he came; I almost died
You kissed him twice when you Goodbye’d,
I hated him; I cried and cried –
You stole my tears away.

I loved your shadow; you weren’t there
You never saw when I would stare,
I wish you knew, that you would care –
You stole my life away.

I still think of you, and dream of you
Sometimes I wonder how you do,
But I can’t blame you for what I went through –
I guess I gave it all away.

2006-02-04T18:23:00.000+03:00

The bargain store..

My life is likened to a bargain store and
I may have just what you're looking for
If you don't mind the fact that all the merchandise is used
With a little mending it could be as good as new

Why you take for instance this old broken heart
If you will just replace the missing part
You would be surprised to find how good it really is
Take it and you never will be sorry that you did
The bargain store is open come inside you can easily afford the price
Love is all you need to purchase all the merchandise
And I can guarantee you'll be completely satisfied

Take these old used mem'ries from the past
And these broken dreams and plans that didn't last
I'll trade them for the future I can't use them anymore
I've wasted love but I still have some more
The bargain store is open...
My life is likened to a bargain store...
The bargain store is open come inside the bargain store is open come inside

2006-02-04T18:22:00.000+03:00

LIKE...

like the previous

this wave too shall pass leaving

the shore sand richer

2006-01-28T18:14:00.000+03:00

"I Miss You"

Just to hear your voice,
even for one moment
Means so much more than you will ever know
Somehow I can touch you through the void of space
And everything else just falls away
When you say

I miss you.

2006-01-09T20:09:00.000+03:00

pictures

2005-12-31T19:47:00.000+03:00

'LITTLE BIRDS SIT ON YOUR SHOULDERS'

Little birds sit on your shoulders,
All pure and white.

Little birds sit on your shoulders,
All lovely bright.

Men and times of evil,
Nothing more is right,

Little birds sit on your shoulders,
And sing me through the night

2005-12-29T18:40:00.000+03:00

FOR THE QUIET ONES..

For the quiet ones
The ones in the back of the classroom
Quietly gettting on with their work
Following behind their friends
The last one picked in P.E

For the quiet ones
Who doesn't question
Who doesn't ask

For the quiet ones
The ones with secrets
And silent ambitions
Whose touch isn't harsh

For the quiet ones
Who don't get asked
Who don't get loved
Pushed to the back
Drowning in the crowd

The ones who drink alone
And store the bottles in their mind

The ones who cut
Just to punish themselves

The ones who eat
Just because they're lonely

The nice ones
Who are anti social
And are ignored

The thing is
The quiet ones
Are not always quiet
And outcasts

Sometimes
They can be so loud
But so quiet at the same time

Sometimes
They can be the most popular
But feel so alone all at the same time

Wherever you're quiet or not
This is for them
To tell them
They're not
Alone

2005-12-26T19:25:00.000+03:00

Season Greettings

To all bloggers,

I know its late to be doing this, but just want to wish each and every person that visits this blog a merry Christmas and above a new year full of great fortune, favour, blessings and above all lots of love.

From Lifemoments

2005-12-13T18:21:00.000+03:00

Every breeze that blows

brings your scent to me;

Every bird that sings

calls out your name to me;

Every dream that appears

brings your face to me;

Every glance at your face

has left its trace with me.

I am yours, I am yours,

whether near or far;

Your grief is mine, all mine,

wherever you are.

2005-12-12T19:25:00.000+03:00

The aftermath

You don’t know it yet,
But in a few weeks,
You’ll be telling me,
We’re better off,
Just being friends.
And I’ll stare at the ground,
And half-heartedly agree,
And then shortly thereafter,
We will stop being friends.

That is how it works.
Makes a liar,
Out of both of us.

2005-11-21T15:31:00.000+03:00

Finally yours..

Greek goddess that you are
I am captured, enraptured
by the sultry soul that
elicits from your eyes.
I trace each plain of your face
your cheekbones
the cleft of your chin
I am possessed and perplexed
by the need to discover you
over and over again.
I could watch you move
through a crowd across a room
from here until eternity
and never tire of the almost
snake-like jut and thrust of your hips
I am ensorcelled by your
nearly mythical physical beauty
and your voice calls up
emotion I buried long ago.
Your heat thaws me
your lifebeat is my muse
you hold me close and I awaken
at last, at last,
relief, breath, hope, light is mine
and I am yours.
........

2005-11-19T18:59:00.000+03:00

The idea to write this came from a Song I heard hope you like it...

EVERYTIME....

Everytime I’m up late I have to work early.
Everytime I wake up I’m bleary eyed and surly.
Everytime I start early I sleep through my alarm.
Everytime I sleep in my boss is immune to my charm.

Everytime I read a book I get a paper cut.
Everytime I have exams I study the wrong books.
Everytime I burp in public I get dirty looks.
Everytime I write poems I run out of inspiration.
Everytime I catch the train I’m late to the station.
Everytime I handle my pet snake I get bitten.
Everytime I try to write I get nothing written.
Everytime I use my ‘puter spyware fills it up with porn
And cleaning out the hard drive can keep me up ‘til dawn.
Everytime I hang out my washing someone steals it.
Everytime I bite an orange I forget to peel it.
Everytime I shave I forget to do my knees.
Everytime I astral travel I forget my keys.

Everytime I bake a cake I forget the yeast.
Everytime I try to haggle I get truly fleeced.
Evertime I make a joke no one understands
Everytime I order veggie pizza it arrives with ham.
From the ham tree?

2005-11-19T17:16:00.000+03:00

AS....

As my mind tires more and more
With each new passing day,
Trying to make since of what I am doing,
Where I am going.
Am I trapped in the horrors of my own mind ?
Driven by some unknown force?
A pause in time, I slow in pace.
A past goes flying by, the truth that I hid.
Hiding from who I was.
Struggling with who I am, tyring to survive.
Trying to live, to love
Dreaming of when and why, asking the endless questions
Knowing not knowing
Trudging along trying to find me.
lost and afloat somewhere unknown asking who am I?

2005-11-11T19:58:00.000+03:00

MY MUSIC

You are my flute
The instrument of my soul
Placing my lips on the mouth hole
I tune you knowing there is no need
The music we make together is already perfect

2005-11-04T18:53:00.000+03:00

Its that time of the year when we get to post something from Oscar wilde, I hope this years choice will be appreciated. Its one of my favourites and I hope you enjoy reading it just like I did.

THE ARTIST

One evening there came into his soul the desire to fashion an image of The Pleasure that abideth for a Moment. And he went forth into the world to look for bronze. For he could only think in bronze.

But all the bronze of the whole world had disappeared, nor anywhere in the whole world was there any bronze to be found, save only the bronze of the image of The Sorrow that endureth for Ever.

Now this image he had himself, and with his own hands, fashioned, and had set it on the tomb of the one thing he had loved in life. On the tomb of the dead thing he had most loved had he set this image of his own fashioning, that it might serve as a sign of the love of man that dieth not, and a symbol of the sorrow of man that endureth for ever. And in the whole world there was no other bronze save the bronze of this image.

And he took the image he had fashioned, and set it in a great furnace, and gave it to the fire.

And out of the bronze of the image of The Sorrow that endureth for Ever he fashioned an image of The Pleasure that abideth for a Moment.

2005-10-29T18:57:00.000+03:00

I BLAME....

I blame you for this.
It’s clearly your fault.

With your piercing black eyes
And your lopsided grin
And your sexy black hair
And your tall, slim frame
And those stupid jeans…
…Which fits in all the right places.

Sitting here, I think back to the first time I saw you.
Five weeks and two days ago (but who’s counting?).
And every day on the elevator, I’d stare at your back,
Trying to work up the courage to say something.

I did once, remember?
I asked what floor you wanted
And you told me the fifth
And my heart started racing
And I nearly passed out
And I smiled the rest of the week…
…Simply because I’d heard your voice.

Imagine my shock when I saw you at the coffee house.
I didn’t know what to do; how was I to proceed?
Immediately to hide between the Arabian Mocha Java and the Yukon Blend, as it turned out (I wasn’t even there for coffee).

It didn’t work, you saw me anyway.
And to my horror you started up a conversation
And to my astonishment, I actually responded
And somehow you made me feel comfortable
And I thought I was dreaming when you asked me out…
…So of course, I said yes.

So, here we are now, in a restaurant, on a date.
I don’t understand what’s happening to me, why I’m actually talking.
I’m so nervous, I don’t even know if I’m being coherent, what with this stupid inner-monologue running through my head.

I thought I’d accepted how socially inept I am
And I’d resigned myself to never meeting anyone
And I was OK with that
And so I never expected you to talk to me
And I never expected you to smile and laugh at my lame jokes…
…Which confuses me to no end.

Because I’ve really never felt this way before
And I don’t know what to expect next
And it scares me that I can’t predict anything
And I feel like everyone’s staring, and that my world’s caving in
And I blame you entirely for this…
…For making me so damn happy.

2005-10-23T18:54:00.000+03:00

Nine Million Bicycles

There are nine million bicycles in Beijing
That's a fact
It's a thing we can't deny
Like the fact that I will love you till I die

We are twelve billion light years from the edge
That's a guess
No-one can ever say it's true
But I know that I will always be with you

I'm warmed by the fire of your love everyday
So don't call me a liar
Just believe everything that I say

There are six billion people in the world
More or less
And it makes me feel quite small
But you're the one I love the most of all

We're high on the wire
With the world in our sight
And I'll never tire
Of the love that you give me every night

There are nine million bicycles in Beijing
That's a fact
It's a thing we can't deny
Like the fact that I will love you till I die

And there are nine million bicycles in Beijing
And you know that I will love you till I die

Katie Melua

2005-10-12T16:47:00.000+03:00

A POEM...

Write a poem, please just one more
Before you leave for distant shores
My heart feels like a lead balloon
My mind dizzy as if to swoon
Walls close in on me
Let your couplets set me free
Write me a poem to lift my spirits
My heart knows no outer limits
Take me places only imagined
Cure my mood heavy and sanguine
Let your rhyme give me life
Take away my heartache and strife
Let your words give me hope
When times are tough and I cannot cope
Promise me everything will be alright
When my heart is silenced by your knife
Let’s walk together hand in hand
Take me to the promise land
Let your poetry transform my soul
Lift me from this deep dark hole
Your words, an aphrodisiac to cleanse
My past transgressions and willful sins
Pour forth your grace for fools like me
Read one more poem before you leave

2005-10-09T13:51:00.000+03:00

Translated from Sorani Kurdish and adopted to English language by Dr Rebwar Fatah

Desire
Poem By Abdullah Goran

There was a time when the world of my soul was dark and empty
Even the sunshine in my soul was cold

In the sky of my hopes, the stars –
Thousands of bright and beautiful king-stars:

Were submerged in a dark and black sea;
And were engaged with death, just like broken flowers

There was a time when the gardens of my life were without music
The nests of my nightingales were without songs

Neither my dreams were dreams nor my thoughts made much sense
My feelings were just like a disturbed ocean under heavy waves

My sole was without strength; I was sad and depressed
My hopes were dark; the death of my love was hidden in the coffin of life
I was hopeless; I thought that a fatal disease
Is bringing the gift of death once and forever

I thought, I have to wait until careless nature
Encourages beasts of graves to make a meal of me

But my love, sweet love and my stunning lady
With your rosy lips and dark black eyes

With your tall-figure, so supple and attractive
With your sweet walks, graceful movements, and melodious voice

With all these exquisiteness in the beauty of heavens
With all the magnificence that is in you

From the first day that I saw the magic of your smiles
The nightingales of my soul began to sing

The spring of my youth now flows once more
The gardens of my life are filled with flowers

Now, at least your magic would occasionally
be my melodies – my sweet lady

I vow to you, vow to attraction and vow to beauty
All my senses will go back to what they once were

The bright red blood flows through my veins
The dark horizon of my sky will dawn

It is passed! I would never get old or my heart die
Or my bright happiness would ever be spoiled

Now my love, my goddess, my Venus
Don’t permit the nightingale of my poetry to stop singing

Note: Only selected verses have been translated.

2005-10-08T17:15:00.000+03:00

A Life Of Sorrow And Dispare

Looking up at grey skies,
reflects upon this grey life.
That like the wind has no cause,
or course to an end of lies.

The endless dark of night,
that plays the heart to die.
And leaves you with that sorrow,
that you know would never die.

Looking out the shattered window,
of a soul that has surrendered,
to the blackness of a never, dawning day.

Knowing that with each new day,
that night will always stay,
the only thing thats left to do,
is live in sorrow every day.

For you have played that fiddle,
of love for way to long.
For so long it seems that all i know,
is this love of ours is wrong.

I know not how it happened,
or when the night had come.
But i know my life's been shattered,
by knowing you for so long.

I hate you in the morning,
for all the things you've done.
And at night i feel the sorrow,
of a life thats long passed on.

You came into my lonely life,
to play on all my thoughts.
I loved you like no other,
but know that that was wrong.

My life had always been my own,
now not any more.
I wish that i had never seen,
you standing at my door.

~ From: "A Walk to Remember" ~

2005-09-16T19:24:00.000+03:00

My Painted On Smile

Perfected in time
Always trying to shine
My painted on smile
While [inside] I cry all the time

My fake existence for you
To try and get me through
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant it to be this way

I tried to be accepted
But you were the only one
Who could understand and except me
In the way in which I am

But still, I lie to you
As I can't accept the way I am
So you see me still
With this painted smile on my face

2005-08-30T10:55:00.000+03:00

Alone Again

Four o'clock in the morning
Afraid to open my eyes
Another day of grief,
A day of fear.
All alone I feel.
I try to justify all the pain,
All of this guilt before my eyes.
Another day of confusion,
A day of wondering.
Is it ever just going to go away?
All this pain that I feel,
And all this anger, is it going to stay?

Ten o'clock in the evening,
Afraid of the nightmares.
Again my breathing stops.
All I can do is stare into the night.
What is it that causes this feeling?
Another night of crying,
A night of hiding,
Alone once again.
My heart feels empty,
And I can't cry another tear.
Another day wasted on insecurity,
A day of wonder.
Is this ever going to end?

2005-08-20T10:44:00.000+03:00

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

2005-08-13T11:44:00.000+03:00

BLACKNESS OF BLACKNESS

Blackness of blackness
that blackness is most black
Brother!
Most black.

Black will make you
Black will unmake you

What did I do
to be balck and blue!

2005-08-08T13:42:00.000+03:00

IN YOUR ARMS

In your arms
I feel safe
Like nothing can ever hurt me
A war could be going on outside
But I don't care
Because I'm being held close to a love
A love I know protects me

In your arms
I feel warmth
They shelter me from the cold icy life
That seems to follow me
Wherever I go

In your arms
I have no worries
When you hold me close
I can not possibly believe
That something bad will happen
And I can't be frightened
By going home
Or what will happen to me there

Why?You ask.
The reason is this:
When I am in your arms
I feel this love
A love I never felt before
Not only do you own it
But my heart feels it too
Being curled in your arms with my eyes closed
Having you hold me tightly
While listening to you breath into my ear
Is one of the best experiences in the world
And if it was to be my last experience
That I could live in my life
I wouldn't trade it for a thing..

2005-08-02T14:24:00.000+03:00

Crying....

Sitting here battered and bruised
my body's aching in this pain...
My tears refuse to cry anymore
as I look out into the pouring rain.

Watching as the lightning returns
I tremble as I hear the thunder.
My arms are burning with regret
but still I can't help but wonder.

My mistakes scar my black heart
this remorse burns at my mind.
These pills kill my agony inside
but still I'm walking on a thin line.

This chain kills my distant sorrow
as a new cut appears over the old.
These burn marks show the story
the story that can never be told.

My blackened soul's no longer
and I'm afraid I'm already dead inside.
I've tried so many times before
so many times I've wanted to die.

Now my core is hollow and burned
as the ashes slowly start to fade.
My hope has slipped away slowly
knowing today might be the day.

These voices play their games
as I try and drown this sorrow.
My body aching from this pain
don't know what I do tomorrow.

2005-07-30T17:09:00.000+03:00

Drop a Pebble in the Water

Drop a pebble in the water: just a splash, and it is gone.
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.
Spreading, spreading from the center, flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.

Drop a pebble in the water: in a minute you forget,
But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet.
And those little waves a-flowing to a great big wave have grown;
You've disturbed a mighty river just by dropping in a stone.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.
They keep spreading, spreading, spreading from the center as they go.
And there is no way to stop them, once you've started them to flow.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute you forget;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.
And perhaps in some sad heart a mighty wave of tears you've stirred.
And disturbed a life was happy ere you dropped that unkind word.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: just a flash and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.
Bearing hope and joy and comfort on each splashing, dashing wave.
Till you wouldn't believe the volume of the one kind word you gave.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: in a minute you forget;
But there's gladness still a-swelling, and there's joy a-circling yet.
And you've rolled a wave of comfort whose sweet music can be heard
Over miles and miles of water just by dropping one kind word.

2005-07-27T08:16:00.000+03:00

Loss or Gain

WHEN I compare
What I have lost with what I have gained,
What I have missed with what attained,
Little room do I find for pride.

I am aware
How many days have been idly spent;
How like an arrow the good intent
Has fallen short or been turned aside.

But who shall dare
To measure loss and gain in this wise?
Defeat may be victory in disguise;
The lowest ebb is the turn of the tide.

2005-07-25T11:34:00.000+03:00

EASY.....

Easy To Get Trapped
Easy to get trapped
In a fantasy world
Not less real
Than any other
But denying the existence
Of those others

Minor misfits discarded
Against the pattern
Of the one fantasy reality
I had to escape
Back to realities
To exist everywhere
Or not at all

Live your fantasy
But let me out

2005-07-18T18:36:00.000+03:00

CAPTURED

The night I laid my eyes on you,
Felt everything around me move
Got nervous when you looked my way
But you knew all the words to say

Then your love slowly moved right in
All this time, my love where have you been!

I'm mesmerised in every way
You keep me in a state of daze
Your kisses make my skin feel weak
I'm always melting in your heat

Then I soar like a bird in the wind
Oh I glide as I'm flying through heaven

A dedication to you

2005-07-13T13:54:00.000+03:00

Self Image

“I wonder if I’ve been changed in the night?
Let me think:
was I the same when I got up this morning?
I almost think I can remember feeling a little different.
But if I’m not the same,
the next question is ‘Who in the world am I?’
Ah, that’s the great puzzle!’”

2005-06-28T08:31:00.000+03:00

AS MY YOUTH FADES

It's been a while; I say,

Since a poem I wrote.

I know where my head is,

But I dunno where I stand.

Drifting away; I might

And ignorance flows.

It seems, as My youth fades,

There's a lot I'm not knowin'.

As friends away drift,

And go to different schools.

Or I leave the country,

I don't play them for fools.

I just follow life's course,

And take whatever has been offered.

Maybe I'll work on computers,

Maybe I'll be an Author.

And though seem it may,

That my heads not screwed on right.

I can assure you,

Yeah, it's put on tight.

2005-06-23T11:58:00.000+03:00

BEHIND THESE HAZEL EYES

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

2005-06-13T11:39:00.000+03:00

A DIFFERENT PICTURE

Not My Name
Not my name
Not my face
Not my acts
All of these are unimportant

Just me
My soul my mind
My spirit my energy

Energy to tell you my name
Energy to animate my face
Energy to do my deeds
Energy to feel my soul
Energy to educate my mind
Energy to raise my spirit

My life energy
Is all that is

- Copyright 1996, by Joseph Rohrbach

2005-06-08T10:04:00.000+03:00

SAND AND FOAM

I am foreve walking upon these shores,
Between the sand and the foam,
The high tide will erase my foot-prints,
And the wind will blow away the foam.
But the sea and the shore will remain
Forever.

Kahlil Gibran

2005-06-04T18:46:00.000+03:00

POETS

Four poets were sitting around a bowl of punch that stood on a table.

Said the first poet,
"Methinks I see with my third eye the fragrance of this wine hovering in space like a cloud of birds in an enchanted forest."

The second poet raised his head and said,
"With my inner ear I can hear those mist-birds singing. And the melody holds my heart as the white rose imprisons the bee within her petals."

The third poet closed his eyes and stretched his arm upwards, and said,
"I touch them with my hand. I feel their wings, like the breath of a sleeping fairy, brushing against my fingers."

Then the fourth poet rose and lifted up the bowl, and he said,
"Alas, friends! I am too dull of sight and of hearing and of touch. I cannot see the fragrance of this wine, nor hear its song, nor feel the beating of its wings. I perceive but the wine itself. Now therefore must I drink it, that it may sharpen my senses and raise me to your blissful heights."

And putting the bowl to his lips, he drank the punch to the very last drop.
The three poets, with their mouths open, looked at him aghast, and there was a thirsty yet unlyrical hatred in their eyes.

Kahlil Gibran

2005-05-30T09:45:00.001+03:00

For the sake of all parties concerned I have decided to delete this post.

Ps:
To you know yourself
The debate had nothing to do with the poem that was posted here. It was merely on the Role one has as far as critizing a poem is concerned and what one needs to do in order to be able to write (read love)/ read poems.

2005-05-23T15:30:00.000+03:00

A Window without Curtains

Its the beginning of a new week and am already feeling tired and worn out.

So where do I begin!
Well I promised to write about my three years in blogging, but after really thinking about it I discovered I don't have the energy or the willingness to retrace my steps back the beginning. I guess its the fear of seeing the person I was then to the person I am now, remembering the things I have gone through and the things I might find hidden during those times.

But I can honestly say the times I have spent here have been worthwhile, the pple I have met; priceless treasures, the things I have learnt; ageless wisdom and the encouragement; to last me a life time!

So how are my characters doing?
Well most of them have moved on, I guess we all reached 'the CrossRoad', where each person had to make a decision and I guess each of us took our seperate ways. Funny enough more characters have come into the picture and with there entrance has come new scenes, thrills and head/ heartaches, for those that remained; the 'movie' still goes on.

I guess its true when they said that, "there are friends for a reason, season and for a life time".

So hows work?
Well for sure, Of late coming to work has been a hustle, I guess its the feeling I get when waking up and remembering the things I have to face, the pple I have to encounter and the hustles I have to overcome.

Alot has happened, changes effected and pple moved at the same time.

And this has really taken a toll on me and I guess this explains why am always tired and worn out!

So hows home?
Lets not even go there!
Alot needs to be said, alot needs to be explained and understood at the same time. For now lets just jump this topic and yes am avoiding this topic!

Hows the future?
I would be lying if I said I don't feel like crying sometimes when I just try to think about it.

For I look into the horizon and the questions that arise am either too afraid to answer or ashamed to know the answer.

But I am learning to "keep my hands in the hands of the man that stilled the waters".

Conclusion:
There's so much to say but I don't think words or time allow me to share it all. I remember afew days ago one blogger wrote about the "then what....." and I told them that it had just began; well am still in my cycle but someone told me that the way I behave while in the cycle will determine how fast I get over and out of it.

All I can say is "lets embrace what comes with confidence and assurance that it would have been worse".

The end!

2005-05-18T11:10:00.000+03:00

While going thro' my archives I discovered that yesterday marked my 3th Anniversary in blogger (Yes its three years now) and to commemorate that occassion I decided to post this poem in honour of all those that have take time to read this blog and for the comments.

Its also amazing the kind of encouragement, love, criticism and wisdom I have received from the pple I have interacted either thro mail, comments and even reading their blogs.

So to all of you may God really bless you and hope this is just the begining of great things to come!

Yes Nick you are also included.

Ps: I will write more on this later

A Hundred Ripples

Drop a stone into the water --
In a moment it is gone,
But there are a hundred ripples
Circling on and on.
Say an unkind word this moment --
In a moment it is gone,
But there are a hundred ripples
Circling on and on.
Say a word of cheer and splendor --
In a moment it is gone,
But there are a hundred ripples
Circling on and on.

2005-05-14T13:47:00.000+03:00

To you.....

I wished upon it on a star...
but it fell down bringing back nothing but a scar...

I whispered it to the sea...
but the waves just brought it back to me...

I shouted it out to the sky today,
but the wind blew it all away...

So I sang it to the breeze...
but the birds sang a more beautiful song...
and mine was left unheard...

How will u ever know...
that i have fallen in love with you...

2005-05-09T11:59:00.000+03:00

Thought about you....

I Have Thought About You
I have thought about you
Every day since I met you
And I have not stopped
Since you have been gone

If anything
I have thought more
In your absence
Because I did not have you
Here to occupy me

Still I would rather
Have you
Than my thoughts

2005-05-03T12:26:00.000+03:00

Running or Walking

On sunday, someone stop me on my way from church (Yes nick I do go to church) and asked me a very interesting and deep thought (if there's
anything like it) question; Why am I always running?

At first I thought they were asking me why I was in a hurry, but after looking in there eyes I discovered this was a Rhetorical question.

The other thing that surprised me more was the person who asked me this question. I have never known them to be that point blank
and never the less that observerant.

So why am I always running?

I didn't have an answer then and I doubt whether I have an answer now. To make matters even more interesting I even don't
Know how to answer myself.

Is it that I have been searching for something, hoping it will take away this feeling. 'Finding' it only to discover it wasn't
what I had in mind but just an imitation, then the search continues again!

Is it that I have never been as ease with where I am right now, and the desire to get out has brought about all this
running up and down looking for 'that place'!

Is it that everytime "I meet the standard", then the standard changes!

Is it that the things I have held dear and close seem to be always the ones to be taken away and hence the need to acquire others!

Is it the fact that I end up meeting pple who have perfected their art of living and hence the need to perfect mine!

Is it that I have things about me that I need to sharp up, confront and overcome that even the thought just makes me run like this!

Is that everytime I go to a place, I find cliches which I have to fitin in order to feel welcome!

Is the fact that most of the times I feel as if I have to prove myself in order to get by or get myself heard!

Is it that I feel am always in a pit and I have to get out!

Or is it that all of this is not me and I have to find myself!

Or is it that am running away from myself!

Honestly I don't know which one of these is the answer, but one thing I know it that I have been running for sure,
I don't know when I will come to the finishing line; I just hope that by the time
I get to the finishing line, the line will not be moved again.

It didn't hit me that even on the outside pple could see I was on a race, so its true when the said that
"from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh".

I guess this is what pple term 'a race against oneself' but funny enough am sure God is asking me right now "What is it that you are running from
and where is it am running to"

2005-04-29T12:05:00.000+03:00

I Took A Walk

I took a walk
With my eyes closed
Letting myself
Experience
Without seeing
And in the darkness
I found the beauty
That I thought
I had lost

2005-04-26T10:38:00.000+03:00

I dedicate this to two very nice and kind ladies I have come to meet while blogging.

LONELY SECRETS

A life of harsh sorrows has killed the butterfly of my desire
Spilling the wine in the love-glass of my youth

The mist of the bleak days has become so dark
The love scenes of my heart were cloaked in despair

Lonely nights have smothered the flame of my hope-candle
The hopeless-hands have strangled the euphoria of my innermost melodies

And now, exposing the wounds
Of my distressed emotions
I wonder in the mazes of my soul’’s wilderness

In the dark nights of my loneliness, I retrace my steps blindly
There is no hand that can rescue me from this abandonned grave

There is no beauty to lend her soft heart for my stressed head
Or to release my exhaustion on her warm lap

My weak eyes gaze bewildered into the dark nights
There are no two vivid eyes to illuminate my avenues

Except for sad wings
And scary nights
There is no light

There is no a single princes who pushes me her desire
Her secrets revives my dieing and crumpled talent

Her laughter removes the gloomy fog on my eyes
Keep me content in a way crying baby comfort

Yes, when I listen except for my distressed heart
Which quietly reveals my deep hidden mysteries

There is no sound
Anywhere around
Neither beating of wings nor sighing of breath

Written in Sulemani in 1951

2005-04-24T17:50:00.000+03:00

When I tuned in to my radio today, there was a programme in BBC that was talking about the life and times of Oscar Wilde, who is among my favourite writers (no wonder the excitement).

And they went ahead to discuss some of his works, which included my favourite poem FLOWER OR LOVE.

The thing that blew me off was how they analyzed this poem, Oscar's comments on it and what it really meant. I had no other choice but to look for it and read once more.

So I will like to present to you Oscar Wilde, Flower or Love

Flower Or Love

Oscar Wilde, 1890

Sweet, I blame you not, for mine the fault was,
Had I not been made of common clay
I had climbed the higher heights unclimbed yet,
Seen the fuller air, the larger day.

From the wildness of my wasted passion I had
Struck a better, clearer song,
Lit some lighter light of freer freedom, battled
With some Hydra-headed wrong.

Had my lips been smitten into music by the
Kisses that but made them bleed,
You had walked with Bice and the angels on
That verdant and enamelled mead.

I had trod the road which Dante treading saw
The suns of seven circles shine,
Ay! perchance had seen the heavens opening, as
They opened to the Florentine.

And the mighty nations would have crowned me,
Who am crownless now and without name,
And some orient dawn had found me kneeling
On the threshold of the House of Fame

I had sat within that marble circle where the
Oldest bard is as the young,
And the pipe is ever dropping honey, and the
Lyre’s strings are ever strung.

Keats had lifted up his hymeneal curls from out
The poppy-seeded wine,
With ambrosial mouth had kissed my forehead,
Clasped the hand of noble love in mine.

And at springtime, when the apple-blossoms
Brush the burnished bosom of the dove,
Two young lovers lying in an orchard would
Have read the story of our love.

Would have read the legend of my passion,
Known the bitter secret of my heart,
Kissed as we have kissed, but never parted as
We two are fated now to part.

For the crimson flower of our life is eaten by
The canker-worm of truth,
And no hand can gather up the fallen withered
Petals of the rose of youth.

Yet I am not sorry that I loved you- ah! what
Else had I a boy to do,-
For the hungry teeth of time devour, and the
Silent-footed years pursue.

Rudderless, we drift athwart a tempest, and
When once the storm of youth is past,
Without lyre, without lute or chorus, Death a
Silent pilot comes at last.

And within the grave there is no pleasure, for
The blind-worm battens on the root,
And Desire shudders into ashes, and the tree of
Passion bears no fruit.

Ah! what else had I to do but love you, God’s
Own mother was less dear to me,
And less dear the Cytheraean rising like an
Argent lily from the sea.

I have made my choice, have lived my poems,
And, though youth is gone in wasted days,
I have found the lover’s crown of myrtle
Better than the poet’s crown of bays.

2005-04-21T20:05:00.000+03:00

"Broken"

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

2005-04-20T18:58:00.000+03:00

A Place to hide

We all need a place to hide, to hide from the madness around us, within us and the madness to come.

A place where we can be ourselves, say things the way we want to say them, and try to make them come true.

A place where we can afford to believe in the things we dream and fantazise about, and not worry of what others have to say about them.

A place where we can dance to our own music, sing our own songs and clap to the turn.

A place where we are free to open our hearts and not be ashamed by what lies inside.

A place with no worries for tomorrow, what lies ahead or what lies in store for us around the corner.

A place where we can forget our myseries for awhile.

A place where the passion never dies.

A place to hide....

2005-04-16T17:13:00.000+03:00

Ps: I just had to share this

Subject: Airport Profiling

To ensure we Americans never offend anyone - - - - particularly fanatics intent on killing us - airport screeners will not be allowed to "profile" people.
They will continue random searches of:

80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification,
Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal Of Honor winning former Governors.
(They will also continue confiscating folding nail files on fingernail clippers).

Let's pause a moment and take the following test:

In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
(a)Olga Corbutt
(b)Sitting Bull
(c)Arnold Schwartzeneger
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
(a)Lost Norwegians
(b)Elvis
(c)A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnaped in Lebanon by:
(a)John Dillinger
(b)The King of Sweden
(c)The Boy Scouts
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
(a)A pizza delivery boy
(b)Pee Wee Herman
(c)Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked, and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:
(a)The Smurfs
(b)Davy Jones
(c)The Little Mermaid
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:
(a)Captain Kid
(b)Charles Lindberg
(c)Mother Teresa
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
(a)Scooby Doo
(b)The Tooth Fairy
(c)Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid who had a few sticks of dynamite left over from the train job.
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
(a)Richard Simmons
(b)Grandma Moses
(c)Michael Jordan
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
(a)Mr. Rogers
(b)Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
(c)The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain: "Mustapha the Merciless"
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of people were killed by:
(a)Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd
(b)The Supreme Court of Florida
(c)Mr. Bean
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 2002 the United States is fighting a war in Afghanistan against:
(a)Enron
(b)The Lutheran Church
(c)The NFL
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnaped and murdered by:
(a)Bonnie and Clyde
(b)Captain Kangaroo
(c)Billy Graham
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Hmmm . . . nope, no patterns anywhere to justify profiling!!
Thank God America's POLITICALLY CORRECT!

2005-04-13T11:29:00.000+03:00

UNFORGETTABLE

Unforgettable, that’s what you are

Unforgettable, though near or far

Like a song of love that clings to me

How the thought of you does things to me

Never before has someone been more

Unforgettable, in every way

And forevermore, (and forevermore)

That’s how you’ll stay, (that’s how you’ll stay)

That’s why darling it’s incredible

That someone so unforgettable

Thinks that I am unforgettable too

(musical interlude)

No, never before has someone been more

Ooh unforgettable, (unforgettable)

In every way, (in every way)

And forevermore, (and forevermore)

That’s how you’ll stay, (that’s how you’ll stay)

That’s why darling it’s incredible

That someone so unforgettable

Thinks that I am unforgettable too.

Natalie Cole
(duet with the late, great nat king cole)

2005-04-11T14:05:00.000+03:00

You Know You're Addicted to Internet When...

You kiss you girlfriend's home page.

Your bookmarks list takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

Your eyeglasses have a web site burned into them.

You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to Google.

You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.

You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.

You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap.... and your kid in the overhead compartment.

Your dreams are in HTML.

You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.

You turn your computer off and get this awful epmty feeling, like you just pulled the plug of your loved one.

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au"

Your heart races faster and beats irredgularly each time you see a new WWW site address printed on the TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.

You step out of the room and realize that your roomates have moved and you don't have any idea when it happened.

You turn up the volume read loud when leaving the room so you can hear if anyone IM's you.

You wife drapes a blond wig over the monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

All of your friends have an @ in their names.

Looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice that you've been to all of them.

Your dog has its own webpage.

You believe nothing looks sexier than a man in boxer shorts illuminated by a 17" LCD Flat-Panel Monitor.

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

You code your homework in HTML and give your intsructor the URL.

You don't know what sex your three of your closeset friends are, because they have nuetral screennames and you never bothered to ask.

You name your children Google, Friendster and Blogger

You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest MP3's off Kazaa Lite.

You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back.

Your virtual girlfriend finds a new sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.

You buy a Captain Kirk Chair with a built in keyboard and mouse.

Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer can not come to bed"

The last hottie you picked up was only a jpeg.

You put a pillow case over your laptop so your lover doesn't see it while youre pretending to catch your breath.

You ask a plumber how much it would cost you to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

You forget what year it is.

You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

You ask a doctor to implant a terrabyte in your brain.

Your sweetie says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and network them together so that you can IM each other anytime.

As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.

All of your friends have an @ in their names.

You start using smileys in your snail mail

You bring a bag lunch to the computer.

You have withdrawals if you are away from the computer for more than a few hours.

You take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling.

You type faster than you think.

You double click your TV remote.

You can now type over 70 WPM.

You check your e-mail and forget you have real mail.

You go into withdrawals during dinner.

You rank your friends by the amount of bandwith they have.

You have "Googled" all your friends to try to find out anything interesteing that they are not telling you and you can use against them later.

You message someone via IM when they are less than 20 feet away.

The sound of the keys clicking turns you on.

You have more browsers than friends in the real world.

You actually say I-M-O and A-T-M to real friends rather than 'in my opinion' and 'at the moment'. And they give you strange looks.

You run four chat programs all at once... Yahoo Messenger, ICQ, AIM and MSN

You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.

You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.

You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.

You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.

You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.

The letters have come off your keyboard from excessive use.

You order pizza online - because you can't be bothered to call.

You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.

You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.

You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and ** kisses**.

You're on the phone and say BRB.

The last movie you've seen was on your Quicktime player.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to the internet.

2005-04-10T19:19:00.000+03:00

Feels like ages.
Am back, hope to continue with the changes and make the blog look better.

2005-04-04T08:19:00.000+03:00

THIS IS WHAT A GIRL TOLD A GUY:

If you see me walking on the road with
someone else,
it's not because I like his accompany...
Its because you're not brave enough to
walk beside me.

If you hear me talking about him all the
time Its not because he pleases me
Its because you're too deaf to hear my
heartbeat

If you feel me falling with someone new
Its not because I love him..
But because you're not there to catch me
fall

If you feel lost, I too am nowhere
I too don't know where the road is going
Are we gonna cross each other's path
Or just completely turn around?..

Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound
Don't let me walk with him,
It's you I want to walk with..

Don't let me talk of him,
it's you I want to talk with..
Don't let me fall for him,
It's you I want to fall in love with..

"HOW DID THE GUY REPLY?"

When you thought I wasn't brave enough to
walk beside you
I was behind you every step of the way

Still filled with awe because of the
beauty that stand before me
When you thought I was too deaf to hear
your heartbeat
I didn't want to assume anything
And I was afraid to lose our friendship

When you thought I wasn't there to catch
you,
It was because you never gave me the
chance

You never reached the bottom,
you've already grabbed a branch
If you feel like you are nowhere,
I too am lost

I too don't know where the road is going
Are we just going to turn around,
Or are we gonna cross each other's path?

Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound?

Don't let me walk alone
I want to walk by your side

Don't let me talk of something else
It's you I want to talk with

Don't let me fall for someone else
It's you I want to fall in love with.

sometimes love hurts,
but if it doesn't hurt...

Then it isn't love...

2005-04-02T13:22:00.000+03:00

Wishing I Could

You look at me, but do you see me?
Am I an open book to you or a mystery?

Your friendship, so dear, has put cracks in the
Strongholds of loneliness that hold me captive.

But I know myself at depths you cannot see,
Things of darkness and shame rooted deep within.
A monster clinging to my soul, ready to devour,
Appeased only by the daily sacrifice of my soul.

I try to call for help, but fear seizes my voice,
Fear that you'd only rebuild the walls stronger.

But a quiet voice of hope wonders,
What you would do and say if you knew. . .
Would I find disgust in eyes now accepting,
Hate in a voice now playfully teasing?
The tension of distrust in a body now relaxed?
A brick wall where once I found a friend?

Or could you see past the shame,
To the wounded, sorrowful person inside?
Could you dare to believe with me,
That a Phoenix can rise out of my life's ashes?

Oh for the relief of acceptance, a gift beyond compare,
A key to free me from this prison of fear.
The balm of true friendship, willing to endure,
To strive as one toward a distant goal.

I hope, I fret, I ponder
The what ifs, the coulds and the woulds. . .
To open my mouth begins a new road,
But one to loneliness or hope I do not know.

This torrent of thoughts and doubts and dreams --
An imposter replacing action, offering false hope.
For I cannot know your heart, without which the risk is too great,
So I pound another nail of silence into the coffin of my soul.

You look at me, but do you see me?
You call me friend, but do you know me?

We have fun hangin' out,
But would you be there when it counted?

2005-03-31T07:48:00.000+03:00

Someone asked me whether I have any happy posts and if so not a poem (no mentioning of names...for the sake of harmonization). Well today am going to make a post, that's funny and at the same time not a poem.

26 Things the Movies Taught You...

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the
price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.

2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut.
You will always choose the right one.

4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
communications system of any invading alien society.

5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

6) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom
will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world
expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

8) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down
three days before their retirement.

9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch
enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems,
deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their
captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit
level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French
bread.

12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in
the control tower to talk you down.

13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.

14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make
the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian
officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian
accent will do.

16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

17) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating,
but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

18) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through
it before long.

19) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises in their most revealing underwear.

20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always
say: “Enter Password Now.”

21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary
to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few
moments.

22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
duty.

24) If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet
will know all the steps.

25) Police departments give their officers personality tests to make
sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total
opposite.

26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak
to each other in English.

From a friend!

2005-03-28T14:46:00.000+03:00

DESIRE

Two hearts fading, like a flower.
And all this waiting, for the power.
For some answer, to this fire.
Sinking slowly. The water’s higher.
Desire

With no secrets. No obsession.
This time I'm speeding with no direction.
Without a reason. What is this fire?
Burning slowly. My one and only.
Desire

You know me. You don't mind waiting.
You just can't show me, but God I'm praying,
That you'll find me, and that you'll see me,
That you run and never tire.
Desire"

2005-03-27T17:13:00.000+03:00

WITHIN THE MIST

A Life Of Sorrow And Dispare
Looking up at grey skies,
reflects upon this grey life.
That like the wind has no cause,
or course to an end of lies.

The endless dark of night,
that plays the heart to die.
And leaves you with that sorrow,
that you know would never die.

Looking out the shattered window,
of a soul that has surrendered,
to the blackness of a never, dawning day.

Knowing that with each new day,
that night will always stay,
the only thing thats left to do,
is live in sorrow every day.

For you have played that fiddle,
of love for way to long.
For so long it seems that all i know,
is this love of ours is wrong.

I know not how it happened,
or when the night had come.
But i know my life's been shattered,
by knowing you for so long.

I hate you in the morning,
for all the things you've done.
And at night i feel the sorrow,
of a life thats long passed on.

You came into my lonely life,
to play on all my thoughts.
I loved you like no other,
but know that that was wrong.

My life had always been my own,
now not any more.
I wish that i had never seen,
you standing at my door.

2005-03-25T15:16:00.000+03:00

Reflection

I swam in the sea of hopes
Drowning me with anticipation
I touched the stars
But I got burnt
In my heart
Causing a forever scar

I will remember the lesson well
Never to believe in lullabies
For twinkle twinkle little stars
I am still wondering what you are
Sparkling diamonds in the sky
Acute emptiness in my psyche

I inhaled the vacuum of life
Suffocating me with ecstasy
I touched the meteor of emotions
And got my mind frozen
Forever unwilling to stabilise

I arrested a melting point
But only to melt my hopes
I bailed the melting point
But only to freeze my emotions
To a point
It just breaks
Leaving me
Yearning for more
Longing for thaw

I internalized the reality of unrealitivity
Hopefully unbelieving hopes
Yet I got superstitious
And started
Worshipping lies

2005-03-24T19:58:00.000+03:00

The Doer of Good

In memory of Oscar Wilde

It was night-time and He was alone. And He saw afar-off the walls of a round city and went towards the city. And when He came near He heard within the city the tread of the feet of joy, and the laughter of the mouth of gladness and the loud noise of many lutes.

And He knocked at the gate and certain of the gatekeepers opened to Him.

And He beheld a house that was of marble and had fair pillars of marble before it. The pillars were hung with garlands, and within and without there were torches of cedar. And He entered the house. And when He had passed through the hall of chalcedony and the hall of jasper, and reached the long hall of feasting, He saw lying on a couch of sea-purple one whose hair was crowned with red roses and whose lips were red with wine.

And He went behind him and touched him on the shoulder and said to him, `Why do you live like this?' And the young man turned round and recognised Him, and made answer and said, `But I was a leper once, and you healed me. Now else should I live?'

And He passed out of the house and went again into the street.

And after a little while He saw one whose face and raiment were painted and whose feet were shod with pearls. And behind her came, slowly as a hunter, a young man who wore a cloak of two colours. Now the face of the woman was as the fair face of an idol, and the eyes of the young man were bright with lust.

And He followed swiftly and touched the hand of the young man and said to him, `Why do you look at this woman and in such wise?' And the young man turned round and recognised Him and said, `But I was blind once, and you gave me sight. At what else should I look?'

And He ran forward and touched the painted raiment of the woman and said to her, `Is there no other way in which to walk save the way of sin?'

And the woman turned round and recognised Him, and laughed and said, `But you forgave me my sins, and the way is a pleasant way.

And He passed out of the city.

And when He had passed out of the city He saw seated by the roadside a young man who was weeping. And He went towards him and touched the long locks of his hair and said to him, `Why are you weeping?'

And the young man looked up and recognised Him and made answer, `But I was dead once and you raised me from the dead. What else should I do but weep?'

2005-03-24T19:53:00.000+03:00

The Perfect Love Potion!

I know that you're a little shy,
But don't let that bother you;
'Cause I've got the perfect recipe
For a very special brew!

The first few steps begin with you,
Now you really must believe...
For with a little confidence
There's so much you can achieve!

So, first you take a cup of wonder,
Blend in a little adoration,
Combine that with a dash of faith
And let this be your foundation!

Add a little splash of wisdom
And a nice big shot of fun,
Then mix in a bit of starlight;
Soon the magic has begun!

Stir in a little twist of hope,
And a nice big dash of glee;
A bit of luck and patience
Will help make your destiny!

Now just add a splash of truth
And pour it all into a jar,
Then think about the one you love
And wish upon a star!

2005-03-22T16:19:00.000+03:00

THE LITTLE GOLDFISH

Once there was a little goldfish who lived with lots of other goldfishes in a very crowded and not so clean aquarium. He was somehow different from most of other goldfishes and so he usually went to his little corner under a little mossy stone and passed his days by dreaming about sea.

As he grew up he decided to go and find the sea. Where there is enough space for everybody, even different ones to leave in peace. Where you don't live too close to each other and so usually people don't meddle in each other lives. He tried a lot to jump out of that aquarium and someday managed to reach the sea. It's a beautiful place but as time passed he realized he missed something. He missed that little aquarium and that little mossy stone of his past. Some people said this is foolish and a silly homesickness. They say he must be rational and don't let his emotions to overcome logic and reality. Maybe because of that different part of him which make him more emotional or maybe because all his life he tried to be able to announce his feelings, to be emotional, to be silly despite what other goldfishes think and say, he still misses his home.

The sea is beautiful and rational and cold. He can't call sea his home. Right now he is as alone as he was under his mossy stone. And still, like all those past years, he tries to be logical and suppress his emotions. He is a goldfish with a suitcase full of memories, in a sea full of pure water, alone.

2005-03-21T15:14:00.000+03:00

COCOON

As darkness begins to hatch
inside the silken walls

My own darkness begins to crawl
beneath this barren soul

After some time of hanging and upturning
the eager wings begin to unfurl

The darkened walls of butterfly are broken
beautiful wings flutter through the winds

But unlike the tiny fledgling creature
my walls of darkness still remain

The wings of my soul are still broken...

Copyright © 2005 Danny Sillada.

2005-03-21T08:44:00.000+03:00

Contemplating

When 'they' said to much ambition makes a frustrated man, 'they' forgot to mention that too much expection breeds depression and disappointment.

Am paying for that right now.

I warned myself from the beginning, but I convinced myself it was just a phrase I was going through but in the end I came to realze I was just "Chasing after the wind".

2005-03-18T17:34:00.000+03:00

The Garden of Love

I went to the Garden of Love,
And saw what I never had seen:
A Chapel was built in the midst,
Where I used to play on the green.

And the gates of this Chapel were shut,
And Thou shalt not. writ over the door;
So I turn'd to the Garden of Love,
That so many sweet Bowers bore.

And I saw it was filled with graves,
And tomb-stones where flowers should be:
And Priests in black gowns, were walking their
rounds, And binding with briars, my joys & desires.

2005-03-18T17:16:00.000+03:00

The following is among my favourite poems by William Blake
from "Songs of Innocence"

The Little Black Boy

My mother bore me in the southern wild,
And I am black. but O! my soul is white;
White as an angel is the English child,
But I am black as if bereav'd of light.

My mother taught me underneath a tree,
And, sitting down before the heat of day,
She took me on her lap and kissed me,
And pointing to the east began to say:

"Look on the rising sun: there God does live,
And gives his light, and gives his heat away;
And flowers and trees and beasts and men recieve
Comfort in morning, joy in the noonday.

"And we are put on earth a little space,
That we may learn to bear the beams of love;
And these black bodies and this sunburnt face
Is but a cloud, and like a shady grove.

"For when our souls have learn'd the heat to bear,
The cloud will vanish: we shall hear his voice,
Saying: 'Come out from lhe grove, my love & care.
And round my golden tent like lambs rejoice.'

Thus did my mother say, and kissed me;
And thus I say to little English boy.
When I from black and he from white cloud free.
And round the tent of God like lambs we joy,

I'll shade him from the heat, till he can bear
To lean in joy upon our father's knee;
And then I'll stand and stroke his silver hair,
And be like him, and he will then love me.

2005-03-15T08:37:00.000+03:00

Garfield for life

2005-03-14T10:30:00.000+03:00

A long long weekend.

I have realized that I do not like weekends. They give me too much time to think. They give me too much time to think about things that I spend my life running away from.

I love talking. I love partying. I love being in large groups. I love doing things which are fast and violent paced. Things where I have to think fast and give a result. Things where I am not allowed to dwell upon things too long to move off into tracks of thought that I do not like.

Running away. Running away. Running away.

2005-03-14T10:09:00.000+03:00

Sometimes the soul is sad

Sometimes we just need to be held
Sometimes we need to hear I care
Sometimes we need to be loved
Maybe we need that breath of fresh air

Some laughter and some dancing
Some book or the touch of anothers hand
Sometimes we need each other
To remember that magic that exists

2005-03-12T17:37:00.000+03:00

Conclusion

The stuff I do and the things I put myself through, most of the times makes me wonder whether am real after the change and the newness that I scream for all the time.

Of late I discover there is a part of me that doesn't want to let go of the past, the experiences and some of the adventures I used to undertake them. And this has made me compromise in so many things, which inreturn has brought me back to the same same scenarioa and situations I was in the past; leaving me to wonder whether I should continue with my path to recovery.

Those around me, don't seem to be helping much either, for I find them to be the main cause of my draw back.

All in all happy that the week is over, had beautiful days, sad ones, stress ones and sickly ones. But all in all am proud of being alive and grateful for that as well.

2005-03-09T17:38:00.000+03:00

REACTIONS

How do you remain optimistic when all that you've planned aren't turning the way you want it to be? How do you keep on smiling when there's nothing to smile about? How do you keep yourself from snapping when things haven't been going the way you want it to be? How do you keep your faith when your god keeps on putting you to the test?

Gosh thats the way I have been feeling the whole of this week and I can assure you it doesn't seem to be getting any better.

A few minutes ago I had a lecture from the boss over something I did that undid something stupid he had done. Now he accuses me of being disrespectful and insurbodinate.

My career seems to be on a drag right now, and not even the work or the pple interest me anymore. It feels like if I have been racing for years and still no finish line.

Of late I have been involved in an exchange of words and thoughts with myself over the things I stand for (or seem to think I stanf for), the direction I seem to be taking and my pursuits.

Am about to visit one of those places you visit when you don't know where to go and it started to bother me that I still don't know what I'm about. Everybody knows the questions you ask youself, "where am I going?" "When will I get there" and the scariest of them all, "what if I never find out, what if destined to never fulfill my own destiny.

I no longer know the person I am anymore, cause I rememeber a few years ago, I used to know the things I want and the ones I don't, the places I want to be and the pple I want to be with but thats not the case know, the things I do to cheer myself up and the things I need to avoid. But all of that seems to be the reverse.

And thats my reactions.

2005-03-07T12:12:00.000+03:00

This is a tribute to all the lady bloggers,

The Mystic Rose

I' WOMAN, am that wonder-breathing rose
That blossoms in the garden of the King.
In all the world there is no lovelier thing,
And the learned stars no secret can disclose
Deeper than mine—that almost no one knows.
The perfume of my petals in the spring
Is inspiration to all bards that sing
Of love, the spirit’s lyric unrepose.

Under my veil is hid the mystery
Of unaccomplished aeons, and my breath
The Master-Lover’s life replenisheth.
The mortal garment that is worn by me
The loom of Time renews continually;
And when I die—the universe knows death.

~ Elsa Barker (1869-1954)

Ps: You are not included!

2005-03-07T00:15:00.000+03:00

Garfield for life

2005-03-05T11:26:00.000+03:00

Tranquilty

After the reasons came and went, and swept across
The face of my innocence, I was lost
Inside the wound, that draws me near
And cries my name, and feeds my presence I am here!
To know your face, and your true shade
To feel the lips, and to be bade
To know your face, and your true shade
To hide in here, in this place
I long for one piece with
I cry for my peace is in you

2005-03-04T08:54:00.000+03:00

ADVERSITY

THEY say that adversity brings out the best and the worst in men. What they fail to mention is that it is also a great teacher. When caught in any adverse situation, we tend to focus only on overcoming it. We often overlook the importance of learning from the problem. And when we are battered by another storm, we act like sailors who have never sailed on a stormy sea and not mariners hardened by countless storms.

In my 25 years of existence, I've had my share of problems, although I have not yet turned into a certified survivor and a veteran of a thousand tribulations. But in spite of my lack of experience, I've picked up a number of lessons from the School of Adversity and Tribulation.

The first lesson that I have learned is that a man is fortunate if half ofthe people who knew him at the zenith of his career do not desert him when he hits rock bottom. It takes a visit by the gods of misfortune to unmaskfair-weathered friends and relatives and test the loyalty of those who understand the real meaning of friendship and kinship. They were right when they said that in prosperity, your friends will know you and in adversity,you will know your friends.

I have also learned that famine can render a man's tongue insensitive to the foul taste of spoiled food. When our refrigerators are bursting with provisions, we spoil our taste buds by eating only the most delicious and preferably the most expensive food. When poverty empties our cupboards and refrigerators, we are forced to eat food that would never touch our lips in better times.

Being perennially broke, I have learned to appreciate the value of a 'shilingi' saved for a rainy day. But don't pity me because I am parsimonious and I know how to live within my means. Pray instead for the paupers who are already living like kings. If they will not mend their ways, bankruptcy will force them to tighten their belts with painful and sometimes permanent results.

I have also learned that adversity can effectively deflate a proud man's ego. Success, wealth and power can make a person believe that he is a demigod until he is demoted to the ranks of ordinary mortals when he fails.Then he will realize that like all men, he is bound to commit a major blunder once or twice in his life. That history is littered with the names of mighty and proud men who were brought down to their knees by a single mistake is a lesson that the more gifted among us should never forget.

Adversity, like death, is a great equalizer. The only difference between the two is that we only die once while we are buffeted by many problems while we live. Even though nobody is assured of living a trouble-free life,some of us are given a heavier burden to carry than others. This unequal allocation of misfortune can be negated by how we deal with the challenges that are hurled at us. That is why some people triumph over impossible odds while others keel over after suffering a brief bout of bad luck.

Adversity is like a double-edged sword that can bring both harm and good. Some people emerge from a turbulent chapter of their lives stronger and wiser while others become weaker and more stupid. It is unfortunate that only a few of us care to etch the lessons learned from adversity in their minds.

Adversity is like a scar that reminds us of the pain that we felt when our skin was cut instead of warning us not to get wounded again.

2005-03-02T09:51:00.000+03:00

"Broken"

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

[x2]
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore

2005-02-28T16:42:00.000+03:00

Quote of the week

“Truth is eternal, Knowledge is changeable;
it is dangerous to confuse the two.”

2005-02-28T15:27:00.000+03:00

WARMTH

It have not been too bitter
Since I felt the hatred
It have not been too disheartening
Since I felt depress over you
Guess I am reaching my destination

I have not been too sad
Since you kept mentioning his name
I have not been much hindered
Since I took the first plunge of freedom
Am I just fantasising my imagination?

It have not been too often
Since I cried the blood of love
It have not been too emotional
Since I teared in my heart
I am moving on
Occasional stumbling blocks

I have not been too stubborn
Since you showed me you live happier
I have not been too amphibious
Since I still needed some warmth
It may still be your warmth
But I am moving on
Still loving warmth

2005-02-25T16:38:00.000+03:00

Reflection

I mirror your movement,
I pretend your hands are mine,
And that it is you touching my face,
That i am touching yours,

I reach out to touch you,
But i feel hard glass,
So i hold myself tight,
And watch your sad eyes,
Stare back at me,
Longing me more,

I can almost smell your perfume,
It is like you,
Light, beautiful and full of joy,
Except when you turn your head,
And i can't see you anymore,

I now grow angry when i see you,
Why is love so unbearable?
Your mouth screams as i shout,
Sobbing as i sob,
Shattering as i shatter,

So all that is left of me and you,
Is a pool of glass.

2005-02-25T16:11:00.000+03:00

UNWINDING

I have just been experiencing lots of insecurity about myself, my desire to let go of my old habits, the job am in right now and so many other things.

I don't know why I keep doing the things I know I shouldn't do, even with the full knowledge of the fact that the mistakes will come to haunt me in the end.

I feel so confused about the direction am taking, the place I am in right now, the things I want and what I really want to do for God.

My life feels so messed up and to make it worse everything I do and say nowadays just goes to make it even worse.

I don't look forward coming to work anymore and the enviroment seems just to drain me of my enery and zeal to fight. The work doesn't interest me anymore and this has somehow made me Lazy and uninterested with what goes on around the office and my collegues.

Nowadays I get angered to quickly and I don't seem to have control over my anger. There is this sense of saddness and gloom that hangs over me almost daily which makes me feel so tired.

People seem to be a bother, I don't seem to have the heart to help anymore and the little energy left in me feels too precious to use on people.

Is it change am after? I don't know. What then do I want? I still don't know. Am really trying to sound positive and look at what am going through with the correct mind set. But am tired of denying my true feeling and what am going through.

Stagnation and irrevance seem to be the dorminatiing feelings of late, and I can bet they have brought about others that I don't think I have the courage to go into right now.

I guess I have reached that point where I would give anything to know where I stand, my place in this life and what is in store for me in the times to come.

2005-02-21T20:09:00.000+03:00

Worn Out Shoes

dust and silence
are creeping
in its derelict state...

I wonder...
how many roads and bridges I have traveled
before I finally put them there...
Danny Sillada

2005-02-21T20:02:00.000+03:00

You're deaf and you can't know

A farm hand has needed no words
to know when to plant or when to plow under.
You hear only every other word;
sixth-grade learning cannot grasp the others.

No family comes and no friend translates
myelophthistic or process, those lifeless words
for your bummed-out, burnt-out, just plain dead bone marrow.
But you know just the same.

More white blood cells crowd in your bladder
than must muster in your blood.
"We're fighting the infection in your heart,"
I had told you loudly.
Your bald head had nodded in return.
Antibiotics, the latest, the best,
the most expensive, drip from one bag.
They will do you no good without other defenses.
Your last harvest is in. I haven't told you that
but you know just the same.

Two o'clock in the morning,
lights are dim on the ward.
Your tan is washed out, your pressure is low.
Blood pours from the other bag,
but only makes for more bruises.
"This crisis will pass, the last counts look better,
we've bought some time" I say to myself.
You don't know what I know
but you know what I do not.

Your eyes follow mine
as they look at the bags,
take in your signs, find the new labs,
recast your odds. I take a new breath;
it isn't even a sigh.
You can't hear a sound if sounds are not made,
can't hear me weep if I do not cry.

Your hands, hard-callused and old,
reach for my shoulder, hold it a while.
"You can't win them all, doc,
you can't win them all."
You're deaf and you can't know
but you know just the same.

2005-02-18T12:09:00.000+03:00

A dedication to all my friends (Yes including you) and fellow country men.

Why Did You Make Me Black

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ....
Lord .... Why did you make me black?
Why did you make someone
the world would hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes,
of grimy hands and feet...
Black is the color of darkness,
of tired beaten streets...

Why did you give me thick lips,
a broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did you create someone

who receives the hated stare?

Black is the color of the bruised eye
when someone gets hurt...
Black is the color of darkness,
black is the color of dirt.

Why is my bone structure so thick,
my hips and cheeks so high?
Why are my eyes brown,
and not the color of the sky?

Why do people think I'm useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do people see my skin
and think I should be abused?

Lord, I just don't understand...
What is it about my skin?
Why is it some people want to hate me
and not know the person within?

Black is what people are "Labeled"
when others want to keep them away...
Black is the color of shadows cast...
Black is the end of the day.

Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
and you know this just ain't right...
They don't like my hair, they don't like my
skin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!

Lord, don't you think
it's time to make a change?
Why don't you redo creation
and make everyone the same?

GOD's Reply:

Why did I make you black? Why did I make you black?

I made you in the color of coal
from which beautiful diamonds are formed...
I made you in the color of oil,
the black gold which keeps people warm.

Your color is the same as the rich dark soil
that grows the food you need...
Your color is the same as the black stallion and
panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed!

All colors of the heavenly rainbow
can be found throughout every nation...
When all these colors are blended,
you become my greatest creation!

Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,
such a beautiful creature is he...
I am the shepherd who watches them,
I will ALWAYS watch over thee!

You are the color of the midnight sky,
I put star glitter in your eyes...
There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...
That's why your cheeks are so high!

You are the color of dark clouds
from the hurricanes I create in September...
I made your lips so full and thick,
so when you kiss...they will remember!

Your stature is strong,
your bone structure thick to withstand the
burden of time...
The reflection you see in the mirror,
that image that looks back, that is MINE!

So get off your knees,
look in the mirror and tell me what you see?
I didn't make you in the image of darkness...
I made you in the image of ME!

2005-02-17T18:44:00.000+03:00

Kenyan bloggers Meme Courtesy of her

Well here we go:

(a)Favourite Kenyan food
Ugali and sukuma plus meat stew is welcome anytime but the lets not forget the
consequences (Doozing!)

Boiled maize with tea in the morning (I miss those days) and lets not forget
'ngwache' (boiled sweet potatoes) and Ndoma (Arrowroots)

And how in the world can I forget Nyam chom.......

(b)Favourite Kenyan drink
Nick for your info tea with plenty of milk and ketepa tea bags is quite a
welcoming relief

A cold glass of fresh passion juice esp. when tired and hot (trust me it has been
quite hot in here for a while)

Home made Uji (Porriage) with dimu (lemon)....am starting to get hungry.

(c)Favourite Kenyan TV programme
Plot 10 (Remember Mr.Nyundo....)

Vitimbi

Okay I have to admit I still watch the Bold and the beautiful......

Remember the 'Rich also Cry' and 'No one but you'

Currently:
The promise
Friends (call me westernized....)

(d)Top 3 Kenyan hang outs
Not an outing person,but

Java House (Like my coffee black and steamy)
Debonaires (Hawaiian hambuger)
Kenchic (Which kenyan doesn't like chicken.....)

(e)Top Kenyan holiday destination
Gosh when was the last time I went on Holiday!
Nakuru and Naivasha will definetly be on my list.

(f)3 Kenyan Phrases you use a lot
Niaje Beste
Sasa Chief
I can't remember the others

(g)Three things about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go 'hmmm'
Walking in town, someone looks up and everyone starts to look up

Scramming for a bus even when its virtually empty and there are only five pple

Complaining about the Government and they know very well they are the ones that
elected them and they will still do the same next election

(h) Three things non-Kenyans say about Kenya/Kenyans that make you go 'hmmm'
When you say you come from Kenya and there response is "Thats Africa right"

I went to Nairobi Africa

Are there Tall buildings in Kenya (I swear someone asked me this question)

(i) Three things about Kenya/Kenyans which non-Kenyans ought to know.
Africa is a continent
and Kenya is a country
and Nairobi is the capital city

(j) Complete this sentence: I am Kenyan because...I am
I am a kenya because....I like free things!

2005-02-14T09:40:00.000+03:00

ADDITIONS
I don't know but I have been debating with myself as to whether I should go ahead and post what I have been planning to post or should just go ahead and forget about the whole thing all together.

But finally after lots of thinking (well not that much) here we go:

Off late I have been having to fight feelings of being envious and jeolous of others, something which am afraid to say has been happening very frequently and whose effect seems to be taking root (and yes I know the quote "you can stop birds from flying over your head but you can stop them from making a nest on top of your head")

2005-02-11T20:15:00.000+03:00

There are:
things you wish you hadn't done,
Words you wish you hadn't spoken,
People you wish you hadn't met,
Places you wish you hadn't gone,
Stuff you wish you had't seen,
Voices you wish you hadn't heard,
Promises you wish you hadn't made,
Desires you wish you hadn't fallen for,
Feelings you wish you hadn't obeyed,
Temptations you wish weren't yours,
And a life you wish you hadn't lived,
Thats the way I feel today...............

2005-02-10T16:54:00.000+03:00

Behind the mask

How can I hide this abysmal darkness …
this gnawing pain and misery inside…

How long will I put on the mask
and tell the world that my life is brimming
with passion and meaning…

How long will I hold on to the lament of my art
without losing my sanity or my reason to live…

It is so cold out here…
here…inside this shivering and orphaned soul…
Danny Sillada [δακασί].

2005-02-10T16:11:00.000+03:00

Fireplace

All alone and just
sitting by the
firepace, watching
the wood burn. As
I stare at the fire,
I was thinking how
my life could change
if you would enter
into my life.
My body trembled
twice that night of
reflection. The
first time was when
I was thinking you
might not want me.
The second time was
when I was thinking
you might want me.
My mind started to
race that night at
the possibility
that the next time
I sit and watch
the fire, you will
be in my arms. I
will have your
mind, body, and
soul.

2005-02-07T14:52:00.000+03:00

"The self, the place where we live, is a place of illusion. Goodness is connected with the attempt to see the unself, to see and respond to the real world in the light of virtuous consciousness."

Iris murdoch

2005-02-06T18:45:00.000+03:00

ALL IS NOT LOST

All is not lost.
I hold you in my arms,
A remnant of your former self,
Yet still the one I cling to.

All is not lost.
You mean more to me than gold.
Even though your soul is cold,
I'm here for you always.

All is not lost.
Friends don't go away.
Even half-a-world away,
We share each other in our hearts.

Lost and found,
To love we are bound.
You're the reason my heart beats.
In silent retreats,
My mind wanders through my memory
To hug you tight.

I sing our song
And know it won't be long
Till we embrace
Face to face.

2005-02-06T18:18:00.000+03:00

Quote of the week

My mother always told me that the harder you look for love the easier it will be to see past it or miss it altogether.

2005-02-05T19:30:00.000+03:00

The garden

The garden is overgrown
Like it somehow escaped plans
And went on about its business
Without this mortal man

The portulaca's gone rampant
And the climbing rose has a runner
About as long as this spring
Has taken to get to summer

The rain's been pouring down
The cana lillies have quite an array
Like they ever needed that much
Encouragement....anyway

Zinnias are poppin up through
All that stuff with yellow flowers
Not many leisurely afternoons
But here in the deep night hours

Offering up its vines
Offering up its weeds
Still there to touch
Untamed beauty from wild seeds

Neils

2005-02-03T18:45:00.000+03:00

Contradictions

Been trying to come in terms with all thats been happening in my life for the past two weeks, analyzing my failures (which somehow have been many), moments I have made a fool out of myself and the conflicts I have been experiencing in my life lately both here in the office, at home and with myself.

During the just ended week, alot happened here in the office, which in turn brought about mixed reactions, insecurities about my job (something I had so far managed to push at the back of my mind), the kind of people I really work with (people who only mind about there own welfare and how things will be done there way), the gossip that has been going on behind my back and how alone I was even from the beginning.

I was so worked up about this, which brought me to the blink of wanting to quit and start all over again, something I have dreaded from the very beginning. Even now am thinking of taking a week long vacation and just go and relax or do something that will make me forget the workplace and the people for awhile; but I know this will not go down well with the so called management.

Its was also at this time that I was going through a moment of self recorrection and admonishing, which resulted in my moods being on edge and any provocation made matters even worse.

Home hasn't made matters easier for me, and the temptations to just pack my bags and leave, hasn't been a foreign thought.

My energies feel so drained that even updating my blog suddenly became a task I wasn't looking forward too. With it went my creativity and composure, which has somehow affeceted the I have been relating to people around me.

I don't know how long this will last and I don't know how I will be feeling after that.

2005-02-03T18:15:00.000+03:00

My All

I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it's wrong to love you
Then my heart just won't let me be right
'Cause I've drowned in you
And I won't pull through
Without you by my side

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight

Baby can you feel me
Imagining I'm looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you're so far
Like a distant star
I'm wishing on tonight

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight

I'd give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I'd risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
'Cause I can't go on
Living in the memory of our song
I'd give my all for your love tonight
I'd give my all for your love
Tonight

2005-01-29T17:14:00.000+03:00

My week

I don't even have the courage to write about it.

2005-01-27T15:29:00.000+03:00

un forgiven

where silent tears and plagues abound
you will find me near
hidding in the hollow trees
promoting hate and fear
eyes ablaze with wickedness
hatred in my heart
I'm evil in it's purest form
I'm trouble from the start

unforgiven

with safety pins and razorblades
you self inflict the pain
like a ritualistic sacrifie
you call me out by name
i rise up from my shallow grave
to feed and to destroy
my breath, a cloud of acid rain
and death is in my voice

unforgiven

there is nothing left
for i have drained you dry
the shadows call your name
and i have steaked my claim

where silent tears and plagues abound
you will find me near
hidding in the hollow trees
promoting hate and fear
i rise up from my shallow grave
to feed and to destroy
my breath, a cloud of acid rain
and death is in my voice

unforgiven

there is nothing left (unforgiven)
for i have drained you dry (unforgiven)
the shadows call your name (unforgiven)
and i have steaked my claim (unforgiven)

2005-01-26T16:47:00.000+03:00

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"If you keep THINKING what you are thinking,
you will keep DOING what you are doing,
and you will keep GETTING what you are getting."

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
When you love someone so deep inside,
It seems like it's so easy to hide.
You've loved him for so very long,
You would think he could do no wrong.

Every day you would hope and pray,
That he would always stay this way.
He treated you like you should be treated,
You thought your life was finally completed.

You thought your love was growing true,
And then one day it was all so blue.
He started putting you down and it hurt,
You thought all you were to him was dirt.

He started ignoring you and you wondered why,
All you wanted to do was curl up and die.
You thought your relationship would never end,
But that was all so fake and pretend.

One night he was so sweet to you,
You thought all those things were maybe untrue,
Two days later he was back the same,
You thought you were the one to blame.

He thought the relationship was getting too serious
And that you had become a little too curious.
By this time you knew it wouldn't last,
All the nice things he said were in the past.

You thought that you would marry him some day,
But this time God wanted to get his way.
You wanted things back how they were before,
But you knew this couldn't happen anymore.